PARENT
TO PARENT: OUR
SECRET LANGUAGE
By Leia Holley
As he takes my
hand and pulls
me toward the
swing, I see the
hunger in his
blue-green
eyes. I feel my
heart melt and
my world
change. My
heart is full
yet breaking at
the same
moment. He is
communicating
with me, yet we
are the only
ones who seem to
understand our
secret
language. I
struggle to
fight back tears
as I feel the
isolation of
this moment.
Are we really
alone? Are we
the only ones?
My fingers
slowly dial the
phone as I
search for
someone anyone
who lives within
?our world?. The
voice calm,
understanding,
compassionate;
wait did she say
there were
others? Yes! As
she repeats her
words the tears
begin to cascade
down my face.
"We can match
you with another
parent in your
area, whose
child also has
autism," Bonni
said.
The hours seem
like years as I
wait for the
call, the call
from someone
whose been
there! I
can't
believe my ears
-- Mary's
daughter is five
and although she
has autism she
is a part of her
family, her
community and
her school.
Just a few
months earlier
the pediatric
neurologist told
us our then
25-month old
son, ?would
never again
talk, have
normal eye
contact or be a
functioning
member of our
family. Prepare
to place him in
a home before
he's a teen.?
I knew in my
heart she was
wrong, yet until
the phone rang
and Mary said, "Kaylynn used to
do that also" my
mind kept saying
we were alone.
Mary and I
watched our
children grow,
learn and play,
we shared
stories of
dreams lost and
of hopes for the
future. We
shared the
"little steps",
"He drank from a
straw!" "He
gave me five!"
"He slept
through the
night!" "He
took a bubble
bath." Mary
understood the
significance of
these moments.
My world began
to expand as I
watched Mary,
Kaylynn and
their family.
Knowing we were
not alone,
enabled our
family to soar.
We didn't hide.
We cherished
each moment,
each day and
each smile.
That simple
call, that
Parent-to-Parent
match changed my
life. Families
Together's
Parent-to-Parent
program was the
light at the
beginning of a
wonderful
journey with our
son, Sean, who
has autism.
Since that day
seven years ago,
I have
volunteered as a
supporting
parent many
times. Through
the gift of time
and compassion,
I have shared
the heartache
and joy of
raising a child
with a
disability. I
have had the
privilege of
joining many
families on
their journey
through the
world of
disabilities.
Three years ago
my husband's job
transferred him
to another part
of the state.
Again
Parent-to-Parent
was there. By
talking with
parents in the
area who had
experienced the
local special
education
system, we were
able to find the
perfect home for
our family.
Where Sean's
needs could best
be met.
If I had to do
it over again my
first call would
be to Families
Together and
their
Parent-to-Parent
program. They
truly understood
"our secret
language."
